Today is Blog Post 7 out of 7! That means I achieved my first goal! However, I don't know if I should put 1 euro or 7 euros in my piggy-bank. Hmmm, I'll put 7 euros and if I am gonna need 6 euros, I'll take them out and change the rules.
I am writing this in my bed on my iPod, while being half asleep as I'm tired and I have to get up at 5AM tomorrow. 6 hours of sleep should be enough. #NOT But let's give it a shot! Today's post will be about something that I am working on myself. That is Independence.
I am a quiet girl, but it's funny, because I am quite wild as well. Like every girl I have so many personalities. The personality in formal situations - observant and polite. The one in social situations - mysterious and witty. & the one at home - wild and free.
That's how it works: at home I make the greatest plans and once I go somewhere I am so different sometimes.
Like for example, two weeks ago, I heard about the opening of an exhibition in the European Parliament. I wanted to go so badly, but my Mom couldn't go as she was working. "What now?", I thought. Not going -- how lame is that? So of course, I signed in to go! I chose my outfit, I had a day off from learning, everything was perfect. However, all the good things come to an end and that also happened to my confidence. Literally 5 minutes before arriving, I called my Mom and said that I can't go there and that it makes no sense. I said that I don't need to be there and that I'm just going back home. My Mom knows me and she know that I have these sudden panic attacks every time I have a challenge in front of me. She reassured me and veni, vidi, vici like Caesar said.
Another time I was looking for a job and unfortunately I didn't find it, but I have gained confidence. I had to enter a building that was under high security. I walked past it about 5 times to find the entrance and every possible entrance was closed. Of course I called my Mom to tell her that I'm going back home, haha! ALWAYS. She said I should ring on a bell or wait until somebody leaves the building and ask them how to enter. That's what I did! The lady in the lobby was very friendly and she even reassured me and told me that I'm doing the right thing.
You see, my hands shake and my voice trembles sometimes too, but that's how you become more independent. I think it's much more important than confidence.
I know that friends and boyfriends give you this positive energy and you feel loved and on cloud nine. However, these relationships don't usually last a lifetime. I wish they did, but from my own experience I know they don't. Maybe I'm a heartless person, but I don't think I am. That's why I work on myself and I don't let other people define me too much. I try to find beauty in myself by achieving my own goals. I try to make others happy, but I don't want to depend on others. This is one of the main reasons why you feel empty when those special people leave. I want you to be happy and independent. Light up the darkness in your soul by finding sunshine in inspiring people, in your own achievements and in the beautiful things in this world.
I encourage you to enumerate all your achievements until now. Also find the bright side of failures. Every cloud has a silver lining, right?
I wish you the best,